She sat at her desk, finishing up the last of her duties, checking her email just before leaving for the day. There the thought struck her, "I really am leaving this place. I really am leaving." It was 6:30 in the evening, on Friday the 23rd. School had been over for a week and a half now, and graduation the weekend before.
She gathered her things, pulled out her car keys and work keys, and shut the office door one last time. When she turned off all the lights, and walked out the front door, she noticed how deserted the campus was. Not only were the students all gone, but it was 2 hours after all staff leave for the day, as well. The wind picked at her hair, and cooled the wet lines on her face. The quiet campus was deafening. The goodbyes, the recognitions, the gifts - they had all been said and done. They echoed in her ears.
What had she done, she second-guessed to herself. It was suppose to be timed like a neat little package to have something to move on to. A new job, a new home, a new life. But none of that had transpired as planned. Tears streamed down her face as her feet propelled her numb mind towards the car. What lay ahead the Lord was yet to reveal.
One thing was certain, she did have some loose ends to tie up. She figured it would be at least a couple more trips back to the city to get it all done. But, it just won't be the same. Yet - will anything be different? It will be so natural to walk in and catch up on the day.
How you can walk away from something you have invested yourself in for the last several years? Thoughts raced through her head. It's not possible to just let go, no longer care, no longer call and check on things, no longer give advice on what should be done. There will be a time gap in leadership. how could she do this?
She really should have stayed a little longer, she chastised herself. But plans had been "put into stone." After much prayer and bestowed advice, the decision had been made. This was what she and her husband thought the Lord's leading was.
Besides, who said it would be any easier to just put off the inevitable? It wouldn't. She drove up the one-way past the library, and past the campus apartments where she had shared an apartment for the first 3 years with her son, past the cafeteria where many lunches had been shared with coworkers in joy and in sorrow, in laughter and in stress; past the dorms and the athletic field where different kinds of battles had been won or lost.
The car turned right at the stop sign, and for one more time headed out for that 90 minute drive home. She felt in her purse for a kleenex. Where would she go from here? She didn't know. Down deep inside, she knew the Lord did. What she knew was a part of herself was being left behind. Life goes on, (it always does) both for those she left behind and for her as well. Hopefully, neither will be the same again.
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